Well There’s A Word That I Don’t Understand, I Hear It Everyday From My Old Man
It May Be Cockney Rhyming Slang, It Ain’t In No School Book
He Says It Every Time That He Gets Mad, A Regular Caution Is My Old Dad
Rub The Old Man Up The Wrong Way And Bet Your Life You’ll Hear Him Say…

Guitar Run Down C Bb A Ab Run Back Up B G A B

Gertch! You Cow Son, Gertcha!

Gertcha! When The Kids Are Swinging On The Gate,
Gertcha! When The Paper Boy Is Half An Hour Late
Gertcha! When The Pigeons Are Pecking At His Seeds,
Gertcha! When The Barker Starts Digging Up His Beans

Guitar Run Down G A Bb B Run Back Up C D E B E

Gertch! You Cow Son, Gertcha!

Barstool Preaching That’s The Old Man’s Game

Now The Old Man Was A Desert Rat,Khaki Shorts And A Khaki Hat
How Me Mother Could Have Fancied That I Just Don’t Know
But When The Enemy Came In Sight They Gave Up Without A Fight
Cos They Rubbed Him Up The Wrong Way This Is What They Heard Him Say

G Run Down G A Bb B Run Back Up C D E B E

Gertch! You Cow Son, Gertcha!

Gertcha! When My Rock And Roll Records Wake Him Up
Gertcha! When The Poles Knocked England Out The Cup
Gertcha! When The Kids Are Banging On His Door
Gertcha! When The Barman Wont Serve Him Any More

Run Up G A Bb B C D E B E

Gertch! You Cow Son, Gertcha!

Barstool Preaching He’s Always Been The Same

Solo G C F G

Gertch! You Cow Son, Gertcha!

Gertcha! When The Dog’s Left A Message On The Step
Gertcha! Lester Piggot When He Lost It By A Neck
Gertcha! When Me Brother Kicks The Toes Out Of His Shoes
Gertcha! When The Houseflies Are Flying Round His Food

Run Up G A Bb B C D E B E

Gertch! You Cow Son, Gertcha!

Barstool Preaching, He’s Always Been The Same

Gertcha! X 4

Gertcha! When Me Mother Says He Cant Go Down The Pub,
Gertcha! Sisters Boyfriend Putting Sister Up The Club
Gertcha! At The Tomcats, When They’re Kicking Up A Din
Gertcha! When West Ham beat Tottenham 3-0 for the ‘Win’
Gertcha! When Me Mother Locks Him Out The Flat,
Gertcha! When Its Raining And He Cant Find His Hat
Gertcha! In The Mornings When His Motor Car Wont Go,
Gertcha! Next Door Neighbour When He Wont Give Him A Tow

Gertcha! Gertcha! Gertcha! (quick fade-end)