written by C. W. Kalb, Jr.
3/24/06

INTRO: F-C-D F-C-G F-C-D F-C-G

Well out in the country we didn’t have morturaries
And so it was always customary
For the undertaker to do his job and lay yer kin out right there at home
Yeah the church would lend you foldin’ chairs
And you’d have visitation and everything right there
But when the nighttime come you’d have to sit up with the dead
D INTRO
‘Cause it wasn’t right to leave ‘em alone

Well the last time I sat up was ’65
When my old arthritic Uncle Fred died
He was ninety-seven and so stooped over the mortician couldn’t straighten him out
They used a loggin’ chain down, covered that all up with a cape and a gown
And didn’t tell nobody in the family
D INTRO
‘Cause that’s the kind of stuff folks just don’t wanna know about

G (let ring) F-C-D
Well we were all sittin’ there, it was 3 in the mornin’
G (let ring) F-C-D
And then there come up a cloud of thunder lightnin’ and stormin’
Well that lightnin’ flashed and that thunder clapped
And that chain ‘round old Uncle Fred went snap
D N/C
And rattled and fell to the floor with a thump and Uncle Fred just stay right up (Yeeoowww!)

CHORUS:
And I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more, I don’t know ‘bout you[F-C]
No I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more, no matter what you say or do[Dsus4-D]
They say the dead can’t hurt ya ‘cause they already left
But what they left can sure make you hurt yourself
And I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more
C D INTRO
Since the dead started sittin’ up too

Well when Uncle Fred sat up so did everyone there
And there came a great partin’ of the foldin’ chairs
And that preacher nearly knocked me down, he said
“Ohhh I’m headin’ out that kitchen door!”
I hollered “Rev that kitchen ain’t got a door in it!”
He said “Don’t worry son, it will have in a minute”
G D INTRO
And I ain’t never seen so much jumpin’ and shovin’ before

And then somebody stepped on the old cat’s tail
And he let out a scream, a screech, a wail
And to say the least that howl didn’t help to calm the situation down
And then that lightnin’ flashed and that house went black
And I spoke to my feet and said “boys make tracks!”
G D INTRO
And I went through that screen door lickity-split for time

G (let ring) F-C-D
Well I cut through the cemetary, fell in a hole
G (let ring) F-C-D
It was Uncle Fred’s grave and it was dark and cold
Yeah the town drunk dug it and he dug it too deep
And unbeknownst to me he was still in there asleep
And I’m scratchin’ and jumpin’ tryin’ to get outta that hole
N/C
And he woke up and said “You might as well come over here and sit down beside me, boy
N/C
‘Cause you ain’t gettin’ outta here tonight”
N/C
But I did!

CHORUS

SPOKEN OVER INTRO:

Wasn’t no sense in nobody sittin’ up with Uncle Fred anyhow!
Uncle Fred gon’ be done sittin’ up with his own self!
Next time I’m just gonna send flowers!
Yeah