INTRO: Dm

Jesus was a carpenter he died nailed to a wooden cross.
Irony oh irony upon me it’s never lost.

Gather ‘round now people, I’m here to tell a tale
About a man who walks among you, a man you each know well.
My name is Simon Keeper I had a wife and three grown kids,
A job in the towers cooking the books for the shills that grease the skids.

CHORUS:
Irony oh irony, you are a bitter fruit to eat.
Stripped of all your beauty your flesh is none too sweet.

VERSE:

Now I ain’t the most honest man that ever worked a skim.
I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar and brother that was it.
Fifty-four and a big black mark upon my resume,
I found selling off what you don’t own might earn you the time of day.

Next it was a letter from my darling one,
“what’s yours is mine, what’s mine is mine”,
Sealed with a hug and kiss.
One by one my children closed their lives to me.
Lesson learned on Daddy’s knee,
“give no quarter to the weak”.

CHORUS:

Irony oh irony, you are the polar seed of truth,
You grow upon the open plain the faithful you uproot.

VERSE:

Kicked around ‘bout a year living hand to mouth,
Then one day tryin’ to bum a light I felt my will give out.
Sat right down on the corner, started prayin’ a little too loud.
Left my troubles far behind
When I saw them emptying their pockets out.

CHORUS:

Irony oh irony, you are a treacherous son of a bitch,
Pretending not to care about the heights you’ll never reach.

VERSE:

Now I won’t start in preaching ‘bout reaping what you sow,
This is the story of a half-hearted man, half honest as they go.
But sit on down and rest a spell I’ve got another tale to tell.
About a lost young man in a far away land whose life is just too easy to sell

CHORUS:

Jesus was a carpenter he died nailed to a wooden cross.
Irony oh irony upon me it is never lost.

Jesus was a carpenter he died nailed to a wooden cross.
Irony oh irony upon me……it’s never lost.