I got no sense, I got no senses
I got no natural defenses
I got no past of future tenses
I’m a man without a memory

Chorus
I never feel compassion
That kind of thing is out of fashion
Give me a hammer, I’ll start smashin’
And all our problems will be solved
Chorus
Really bent, really bent, I am really very bent
I’m one hundred ten percent bent
G or Bm D or F
And I’m wondering how my life went
a A/C#?
So astray, hey, hey!
So if you need, a new beginning
A new local, to do your sinning
If you don’t care which team is winning
Welcome to my home
Chorus
Outro
D D/C# Em/G ?

G 2 2 0 0
D 0 3 2 2
A x x 2 1
E x x 0 0

Intro
Shown once, repeat until verse. Pat plays a full
E instead of a 5th while hammering, but my
fingers can’t do that easily. This is also used
during the “Hey Hey Hey, Ho Ho Ho…” part.

-----------------------------------|
-----------------------------------|
-----------------------------------|
--2h4----2h4-----------------------|
--0------0------2----2h4-----------|
----------------h4-----------------|

I think he uses that D on the B string, but it’s
hard to tell if he’s muting or not on those high
presence Alvarez guitars.

-----------------------------------------------------|
---------------------3----3---------------3----3-----|
---------------------2h4--2h4-------------2h4--2h4---|
-2h4--2h4--2h4--2h4--0----0----2h4--2h4---0----0-----|
-0----0----0----0--------------0----0----------------|
-----------------------------------------------------|

---------------------------------------------|
---------------------------------------------|
---------------------------------------------|
--2h4--2h4--------------2h4--2h4--2h4--2h4---|
--0-----0------2---2h4--0----0----0----0-----|
---------------0h4-0-------------------------|

( Tab from: http://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/p/pat_mccurdy/toast_tab.html )
Chorus

--------------------------------------------------------------|
--------------------------------------------------------------|
--------------------------------------------------------------|
----------2h4--2h4-------------2h4--2h4-------------2h4--2h4--|
-2---2h4--0----0----2----2h4--0----0-----2----2h4--0----0-----|
-0h4-0--------------0h4--0---------------0h4--0---------------|

If I had a fork….

--2------2-----0---------|
--3------3-----0---------|
--2------2-----1--h2--1--|
--4------0-----2---------|
--4------------2---------|
--2------------0---------|

Repeat the F#, D and E then into the intro for
“hey hey hey, ho ho ho…”

Solo

-2---0------------------2----0---------------------------------------|
-3---2------------------3----2---------------------------------------|
-2---2------------------2----2---------------------------------------|
-----2---------2-------------2----2h4--2--0h2--0---------------------|
-----0-----0-/4-4-2--0-------0--------------------4h5--4--2h4--2--0--|
--------0h2----------------------------------------------------------|

--2----0------------2---0---0---|
--3----2-----10-----3---2---0---|
--2----2-----11-----2---2---1---|
--0----2----12------0 --2---2---|
-------0----------------0---2---|
--------------------------------|

Slide the last E up, then back to the intro. I
didn’t put strumming patterns in because well, I’m
just too lazy, and if you don’t have rhythm, a
strumming pattern won’t help;-) I hope this is of
some use to someone out there. Go to the officiial Pat McCurdy website
foreverything u need to know about this funny song writer!

E —4-4-4–4-4–4-4-4–4-4–2—0-|
B —5-5-5–0-0–0-0-0–0-0–4-4-0-|
G ——————————-1-|
D ——————————-2-|
A ———————————|
E -0—————————–0-|

Life is a buffet, eat like a pig
If you’re gonna dream baby, dream big
Everybody zags, why don’t you zig
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig

Just look at your life, as boring as can be
How can you stand the monotony
Every single day, the same as the last
Something’s gotta change and it better change fast

Chorus

Now you don’t drink or smoke, you don’t run around
You eat those healthy foods and you stay away from town

Nothing that you do is ever untoward
Aren’t you getting tired, aren’t you getting bored

Chrous
I know what you believe, I know just how you feel
But what if God’s a myth, what if heaven isn’t real
What if all your prayers fall on non-existant ears

If there’s no after life,
well you’d better live one here

Chorus (2x)

Don’t give me your lame excuses
Don’t give those Hail Mary beads
Don’t tell me ‘bout your “creative juices”
There’s only one thing that I really need

Chorus
( Tab from: http://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/p/pat_mccurdy/groovy_thing_crd.html )
Don’t give me your whole life story
It’s probably not a whole lot different than mine
Don’t give me every rock in the quarry
There’s one that gets me rockin’ every time

Chorus

That g[C/B]roovy t[C/A]hing, that groo[C/B]vy thi[C/A]ng
That [C/B]groov[C/A]y thing is all I want from you
All you’ve gotta do is

Chorus

I don’t wanna be a big disappointment
Like I’ve been so many times before
I don’t wanna be the fly in your ointment
You won’t have to worry anymore

Chorus

GO to www.patmccurdy.com