CAPO I

This is hard for me to do, but I can’t seem to stop myself
I know you said that we were through, and here I am, I’m callin’ you
Please try to understand [D-A] I see myself as your lovin’ man
Whatever you think it is I lack, let’s talk about it, call me back

CHORUS:
Press 1 if you want me, press 2 if you don’t
Press 3 if you’ll forgive me, press 4 if you won’t
Press 5 if you doubt me, press 6 if you trust
Press pound if you love me, or hang up if you must[D-A]

I have an unlimited plan[D-A] I forward my calls everywhere
I check my voicemail from the car or at the pay phone in the bar
I’m wearin’ a beeper all the time, I carry portable fax
Instant message me on the train, I get my e-mails from the plane

CHORUS:
Press 1 if you’re remarried, press 2 if you’re gay
Press 3 if you’re dating that prick from L.A.
Press 5 if you’re screaming, press 6 if you’re dead
Press pound if you love me, or hang up instead[D-A]

SOLO

I’m outside your house now, there’s not even one light on
Has there been a blackout, I don’t know, is that a police car, I should go

CHORUS:
Press 1 to press charges, press 2 to feel my pain
Press 3 to place an order, press 4 to restrain
Press 5 for visiting hours, press 6 for a day pass
Press pound if you love me, you sure look good through the glass

CAPO II

INTRO: G C G D C

You are some kind of lady
With a Mensa mind and curves to kill
I love all the work you’ve had done on you
Keep on sendin’ me those bills

I am glad your serve’s improving
I love the fabric in the den
The Pinot Noir got in Napa
Was sublime with your cornish hen

CHORUS:
But I can’t give you what you need tonight
I just have to confess
It may be hard to make love to you just right
‘Cause I’m on three days rest

Maybe I’ll test drive a Vespa
Forget to shave, collect some art
Reinstate myself at Jack La Laine
Walk the course and lose the cart

CHORUS:
I dont’ know if I can be your man tonight
I don’t mean to obsess
I just don’t wanna be anything but right
And I’m on three days rest

SOLO: G Em C Em G D G Em C G C D

The boys all want me to go rafting
So far no one’s taken their phone
I got the whole Lou Rawls collection
To keep you company while you’re alone

CHORUS:
And when I get back here tomorrow
I’ll be bestin’ my own best
I’ll be somethin’ that you’ve never seen before
I’ll be on four days rest

SOLO: Em D Em D

There was a time my eye would wander
But my heart was always still
I chose this life I will not squander
What I can save with just a pill

CHORUS:
So I surfed around and I found this site
Just arrived UPS
I’m gonna be able to make love to you tonight
Right here in our love nest
C D N/C G Em C
Even on…..three days rest

Three days rest
You’re the best
Three days rest
Three days rest

OUTRO: G Em C (3x) G

INTRO: D A E A

I work all day to pay the rent
Before the money’s earned, well it’s all been allocated
I got nothin’ on my plate, but I wish that I were fat
Nine more gallons and I’ll have me a hat

Workin’ nights, I’m always tired
I hope my boss doesn’t get me laid off
It’s hard to pull an empty load even if you’re stuck
Seventeen more wheels and I’ll have me a truck

CHORUS:
Two more times a lady, three more hundred blows
Four more easy pieces, five more days on the road
Seven more days a week now, eight more lives a cat
Nine more gallons and I’ll have me a hat

SOLO

Workin’ weekends to pay the bills
I wish I lived someplace like Beverly Sills
I’d love to have her autograph right here on these checks
Fifty-one more cards and I’ll be playin’ with a full deck

CHORUS

INTRO: G

I can kick up my heels
I can raise a glass to a good set of wheels
And I can ride a pony
I can settle a score between a couple of friends, no more
And if I need to I can walk the walk
And if you ask me I can talk the talk
And if I have to I’ll stand tall in [G/F#]these here socks
But I’ll never be on a Wheaties box

I can make a pie
I can help pick out an outfit to match the color of your eye
And I can tie a roast
I can make 4 different lunches and not burn the toast
And if I need to I can be a rock
And if you ask me nice well I would say just knock
But if you give me the keys I can unlock all [G/F#]of your locks
But I’ll never be on a Wheaties box

I may not be an Adonis
I might not sink my putts like Tiger Woods
I may not have those washboard abs but I sure can [G/F#]do the wash
And my ironing is pretty good

I can prune the plants
I can stencil a whole floor and not ruin my pants
And I can glaze a room
I can weave a wicked tablecloth on my antique loom
And if your cue is slippin’ here take my chalk
And if you want a kung pao well let me grease my wok
And if you really gotta have those Calloways I’ll [G/F#]sell some stocks
But I’ll never, no I’ll never

Ti amo il mio caro ma il ill non e
Mai su una scatola dei Wheaties