(Verse)
June fourth 2005 will always be remembered
As the day that I looked in to the mirror
And confirmed my suspicion… I’m losing my hair. Eb G Ab x2

I could take a pill called Propecia,
It causes pain in just one nut and that freaks me out.
I could join the hair club for man,
The salesman told me it’s only as much as a car
To get a transplant, with only three weeks of head scabs
That’s not for me… No!
If it’s balding I am, it’s a bald guy I’m gonna be!
Woah, woah, yeah!

(Instrumental)
Eb G Ab x2 Eb

I know I’m not alone, every room I go to some dude knows how I feel,
It’s just hair, if we were truly evolved we woudn’t have that sht anywhere.
I can’t change the way I look, but I can change how I look at it, ‘cause if it’s up to me

If it’s balding I am, it’s a bald guy I’m gonna be!
Woah, woah, yeah!

(Instrumental)
Eb G Ab x2 Eb

Bruce Willis is fking hot
And Captain Picard is generally regarded as sexy,
I look just like that dude from Snatch.
I’ll just start working out and buy some clothes I’ll be so cool,
No one will notice I’m a bald guy.
Gonna be a bald guy
Gonna be a bald guy