Well you can talk about your lovers and your backdoor pimps
You can talk about your Hollywood fags
If you wanna know the baddest mker in the world
Then Im the greatest lover alive.

Jackie Onassis was a snuff queen for me
Before she ever got rich
And it would take the average man a day and a half
Just to satisfy that bh.

Why the Queen of England gave me the key
To the whole damn country of France
And it only took me fifteen minutes
To get into her pants.

Well I fked em all from coast to coast
Cause honey that my bag
In fact Im the only man in the whole world
That could make Linda Lovelace gag.

Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum.

Now it aint that my dick so God damn big
Its just I know how to use it
And Ill never let some nickel-dime we
Ever get the chance to abuse it.

They can suck it for hours and hours on end
But Ill still be in control
And I wont cum till I wanna cum
Cause thats my jellyroll.

Now there aint no woman no match for me
Ive had em try to wear me down
Ive fked them barmaids and bank clerks
I even fked a circus clown.

Teachers and lawyers, doctors
And Lord them fat women sure are a drag
I tell ya Im the only mker in the world
That can make Linda Lovelace gag.

Why Old Hairy Reams fell apart at the seams
When he saw me fk that we
She sucked my dick swallowed my nuts
And I still hollered for more.

She sucked my ae she sucked my toes
Shes the suckinest bh alive
Well I made her call up two more cunts
And friend that aint no jive.

She dont give me know st
About bein some big time lover
Some movie star with a jag
Cause you aint st if you cant get Linda Lovelace gag.

I dont talk about bein no full time lover
Cause mister thats my bag
Im the only mker in the damn world
That can make Linda Lovelace gag.

Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum.

Take it boys.

G (one strum)
fkin’ in the butt, fkin’ in the butt, fkin’ in the butt….

I’d like to fk the sht outta you, I’d like to fk the sht outta you
I’d like to fk the sht outta you, I’d like to fk the sht outta you

Please put my gland in your hand, Hey, please put my gland in your hand
Hey, please put my gland in your hand, Please put my gland in your hand

Baby won’t you give me some head? Hey, baby won’t you give me some head?
Baby won’t you give me some head? Baby won’t you give me some head?

we like to eat lunch down at the y, we like to eat lunch down at the y
G C (one strum)
we like to eat lunch down at the y…

(spoken part starts)
Why? Because we love you
Hi, I’m David, and these are my friends. We enjoyed doing this album for you. We like to specially
dedicate this album to all the members of the Micky Mouse Fan cCub, and also to you Mrs.Calabash.
Wherever you are.
(spoken part ends)

I’d like to fk the sht outta you, I’d like to fk the sht outta you
I’d like to fk the sht outta you, I’d like to fk the sht outta you

G (one strum)
fkin’ in the butt, fkin’ in the butt, fkin’ in the butt….