I got frustrated with nobody having tabs for this song. it took me a long time
to figure it out, and it’s definately better than nothing. there are two guitars,
but this is good for jamming along with it, or for an easy live show. the second
one just solos mostly.

where it has 2 “E”‘s in a row, play 022xxx as the first one and then x799xx as the second.

also, an easy way to do the quick fill at the end of the verses is to just hammer
the notes that I have as chords. it’s easy to pick up on if you listen for it.

Intro riff:

e-11b12-| (repeat a lot)

Ahhh…sweet youth
The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute
Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator
Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked
on the weed and the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed
And the sex and the mud and blood and the sht
Let’s all go and hit

Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song

Fat and lame
The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed
By a bong, and a schlong
Yes now we have all seen how things can go wrong

Now my brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased
Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees
A swarm of narcotics could get me through this
My manager’s gonna be psed
I’m talkin’ ‘bout the

Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong

Oh, can you take it
Oh, do a monster
Oh, can you deal with it?
B (palm mute)
We won’t respect you unless you get high with the boys

(guitar 2 repeat through next verse until “I’m sucking…”)

Now I’m old
Trapped in my cell as I cultivate mold
In the twilight of my years
I am still a drug addict

I’m sucking all night long on a ten foot bong
Moistened with lotion,
wrapped in a sarong. You know I live like a king
But I act like a faggot
Once was a warrior, now just a sponge
High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge
My glorious destiny it turned to sht
Can I get another hit?

Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong

Oh, can you take it?
Oh, do a monster
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won’t respect you unless you get high with the

Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Nitro-burning funny bong

Oh, can you take it
Oh, do a monster